There Is No Fear In Love

     So sometimes I put my heart and soul into crafting a post on here. And sometimes I just want to share some basic information with out of town loved ones. That's what this post is today.

     I had a sense I'd be holding out for awhile for the right job. But if someone had told me back when I made the decision to pull out of school that it would be 2 months of no school and no work I would have probably cried anticipating the boredom.

     But life has been anything but boring.

     I injured my knee running at the end of September. I thought it was just an overuse injury that needed rest but after a few weeks of limping and pain medication and eventually crutches I figured it wasn't getting any better. As painful as it is for me to spend money on something ridiculous like a knee injury I caved and bought insurance and saw a doctor.

     In the middle of this I was offered a job at CHOP. It was a desk job addressing concerns of patients/patient families by phone, processing referrals, working with insurance companies, etc. and it was with a really great team of individuals. My heart was towards another job I'd interviewed for but I knew that if the knee was bad enough for surgery a desk job would be wise.  However I didn't know for sure that I would need surgery. If there's one thing I've learned lately in my walk with God it is to not make any decisions based on fear. So I asked for a week to think about it (a totally unrealistic amount of time to expect CHOP to hold on to a job for me) and I touched base with the dream job. After a few days it was settled. I accepted the dream job at Nurse-Family Partnership*.

     My appointment with the doctor came. He suspected a cartilage injury or meniscus tear and ordered an MRI. Either diagnosis often means surgery. I cringed at the possibility of 12wks of recovery time that might keep me from working.

     Some honestly expressed sadness and nighttime tears definitely followed this. But no fear. Or at least not for long. Because regardless of the outcome God has always loved me. Always. And there is no fear in love. I wish I could describe the overwhelming sense of His love and presence with me through all of this.

     I knew these things:
     1. I'm away from every person in my life that is most dear to me.
     2. Not only do I not have a job and income, I might be out of work for awhile because of this injury. So I'm poor and in debt now with potential to get poorer and more in debt.
     3. I might not have any money by the end of this 12wks and will need to consider moving back to Oklahoma and living off of relatives.
     4. God will take care of me. He may not give me what I want, when I want it, and the way I want it -- but He will give me what I need.

     Being the last minute planner and ever self-relier that I can be sometimes, on the Wednesday morning of my MRI I realized it would be pretty difficult to hobble the distance I would need to in order to get from parking in overcrowded downtown to the location of the clinic. I emailed my life group from church and within minutes the co-leader had responded he was nearby that morning and would give me a ride. Even in morning traffic and with these last minute arrangements I was actually a little early to my 9am MRI. Another friend from church, who happens to live a few streets over from me, gave me a ride home from the MRI.

     The appointment to review results was that Friday. Two other friends from church gave me a ride to that appointment and stayed with me for the appointment for support. We were prepared to hear which diagnosis would be mine and how to prepare for the next step of surgery.

     A new diagnosis came out of this visit though.  The MRI indicated patellofemoral pain syndrome and the doctor prescribed 12 weeks of therapy. Therapy! No surgery! About twenty questions I had prepared suddenly became irrelevant and I couldn't stop smiling :)

     Since then I've had my first therapy visit and they explained that cartilage damage hasn't necessarily been ruled out by the MRI. However, therapy is still the best plan right now. As with my previous experience with physical therapy for issues with running, I can tell I'm going to enjoy the people working with me. So Thank You Jesus for injuries that let me spend an hour talking to new friends 3 days a week! 

     I would love prayers that my knee makes a full recovery. Honestly, I don't mind never running again. I like it a lot but it's not worth losing my ability to walk over. I would love to be able to dance again soon. But mostly I am so grateful that I'll still be able to work. What a gift it is to be able to have a job doing something I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy and to get paid for it!

     I think it's interesting that in the 3 week window of time that I was back in Oklahoma for a visit in August, one of the men at my home church of Bridgeway asked me to join him in praying over a woman's knees. She'd been having pain with walking for years. We prayed over them and tears came to her eyes as she tested them out and discovered the pain was gone. That's one of many stories I've witnessed of healing, but I don't think I've ever been part of seeing knees healed specifically. A month later this knee thing happens to me and I know God will heal me. He will heal me quickly, or through 12 wks of therapy, or by exchange of this body for my new one :)
   
     So that's the latest. Well that and our nation is headed for an apocalypse depending on who you listen to. No big deal.

Grace and peace to you all!

*Home visiting service to provide nursing care to pregnant women and to continue to follow their care and the care of their child to age 2. More information can be found here: https://www.nurseledcare.org/programs/philly-nfp.html